Friday 6 December 2013

CRIMSON

I'm always on the lookout for Nigerian talent.  It brings me great joy when you find people who you have people who reek of creativity and showcase their talent.  Case in point is Blue Graffiti Films who have brought us the Crimson series.

 "Crimson is a series of short factitious thrillers loosely based on several mysteries within Nigeria's intriguing political space."

I absolutely love what I've seen so far!!!

Presently there are three episodes in the series


Written and Directed by Daniel Etim Effiong. Produced by Lala Akindoju. Photographed by Kagho Idhebor Crowther and edited by Mohammed Atta.

I'm not going big it up too much so I don't spoil it for you guys but I love the cinematography and the writing.   

Check it out and subscribe to their channel 


Toodles!!

Monday 11 November 2013

Hello my name is [insert name], would you like to be my friend?

This post is going to serve a guide (I'm struggling really hard to not write idiot's guide) to being a friend to a sickler.

Why do you need a guide?  You don't really but sometimes its nice to have some clarity on how to handle certain situations and reduce the number of douchebag moments.

I don't look like a Sickler. What does that mean? People assume that because one is a Sickler one must look sick......all the damned time!!  In the book that traumatized me - for a refresher read this, it indicated that Sicklers had the following physical characteristics

1.  Yellow skin and yellow eyes
2.  Buck teeth
3.  Predominate foreheads
4.  Inflamed joints. The list was endless. 

I like many others don't have these physical characteristics, so friends & family tend to forget.

Its a double edge sword.  While Sicklers don't want to be reminded of what they are, they need for their friends & family to remember.  Why?  Because in a bid to be 'normal' some Sicklers take risks to be in-with-the-crowd.  Everyone goes through this........ its part of growing up.  The only difference is for Sicklers or anyone with a pre-existing condition the repercussions tend to be predictable and more severe.  In my previous posts I've talked about the short term effects of sickle cell pain.  There are long term implications each time a Sickler has a crisis, one of which is Bone Sclerosis.

Bone Sclerosis otherwise known as the bruising of the bone.  Research has shown that there is a positive correlation between bone sclerosis and crisis episodes. In essence, just because you don't see anything on the outside, believe that there is some damage going on on the inside.  Side effects of bone sclerosis can range from the 'bowing' of the vertebrae and the slow corrosion of the head of the Femur. When you are a young spritely young buck you don't think of these things. When you get older...... TRUST the fear of growing shorter or getting your hips replaced is no joke!

Back to friends & family.  In my experience one of two situations can occur;
  1. Friends/family tend to wrap Sicklers in cotton wool. While this comes from a good place it does get fucking annoying!
  2. Friends/family forget and push Sicklers (unwittingly) into compromising situations.
I am the first to admit that in the latter situation the Sickler should take on the responsibility of just saying no, but it does get wary when one has to say NO all the time. And this leads perfectly into where being a young, stupid whippersnapper comes into play:

So what is a Sicklers Kryptonite? The concept of being 'normal' - to have cold showers, drink only when thirsty, get cheap travel insurance, run on a treadmill for more than 20 mins, survive on less than 6 hours sleep, drink their fellow drinking buddies under the table, step outside in the cold without a sweater/coat, go 6 months without having to see a hematologist, ophthalmologist or an orthopedic doctor.....  The worse thing you could do to a Sickler is to make them feel like they are not normal...... but the reality is they aren't.

Over the years I have perfected the art of my 'play by ear' system when it comes to social commitments, much to the annoyance of friends and family.  The reality is no two days are the same, one day I could wake up full of energy, and in a split second a crisis could start.  So I cancel on my friends last minute and am hesitant to commit, this usually leads to frustrating conversations where I come off as a mean-spirited stubborn cow.  Those conversations irritate the fuck out of me.  The easiest thing for me to do would be for me to state the reason why I can't come out is because of the Grinch.......... but that would mean that I'm not normal.  So as a family/friend, if I say, I can't come out....... accept and respect it.

So what do you do when you happen to be with a Sickler during a Crisis?

Its funny..... I don't like having friends and family around me when I'm in 'full flow'.  Why?  Apart from it not being a fun time, I find myself comforting and re-assuring my friends/family.  It is exhausting.  I have been know to 'disappear' - what do I mean? There was a incident where I was staying over at a friend's house in Stratford.  The Grinch decided to make a house call and rather than alert my friends, I snuck out of the house, and drove.....in pain to Lewisham hospital. That is roughly a 10 mile drive.  Needless to say, my friend and her now husband were very upset with me.

So what do you do?  Just be supportive.  We've (Sicklers) have a lifetime's experience with this.  So don't panic, be strong, and LISTEN.  Tosin Coker states this eloquently, so have a gander.................

Toodles!!


Thursday 12 September 2013

Nigerian Talent - Introducing Sporedust

Nigeria has mad talent!!!

The first time I met Sporedust http://www.sporedust.com/ was at a TEDxVictoriaIsland event where they presented the a version of the video below.  Needless to say they brought the house down.  

- Enjoy

Thursday 8 August 2013

Finding that balance

This last month has been absolute hell.

From time to time the Grinch - sidebar, for the purposes of this post I am calling Sickle cell "the Grinch" because right now those are my feelings towards it - likes to remind me who's boss.

In 2009 I achieved my record number of hospital visits within 1 week.  My record is five, yes 5 times. Though one of those visits involved a hilarious episode (though I didn't think it at the time) where I had an allergic reaction to the seafood medley my long suffering twin sister cooked me.  I woke up at 4am with my face itching to high hell, and my lips felt like I had kissed the wrong end of a bubble bee.  I will never forget my irritation at the A&E receptionist when she unwittingly asked, in her cockney accent, "So why are you here today?".  My reaction was shove my face closer to the glass divider, point my finger towards my face and say "Can't you tell??".  Till this day I'm convinced that that allergic reaction due to the combination of the drugs and the seafood.

Besides that episode, that week was hell, no matter what I did, I kept on having to go back.....screaming for the drugs and being thankful that the episode was over so I could continue with my life.  Apart from the physical exhaustion, that shit does a number on your psychi.  At the time I didn't have the pressure of a full-time job.  I was writing my thesis, so my schedule was flexible and taking time-outs were okay.  So in between hospital sessions I would sit down and think about my existence.  Given the circumstances self pity usually creeps in.  Was this all I had to look forward to?  Why me?  What the fuck...... why is this happening again.....what did I do differently?

So now we come back to August 2013.  I've moved back to Nigeria, on my hustle, working full-time job at a bank (what was I thinking?!!!), single, and co-existing with the Grinch.  Work has been challenging (I may complain about it, but I love the challenge) with long working days (round about 12 hr days), and being single I do enjoy an active social life.  The Grinch don't like that.  See, the Grinch is a very jealous lover, so when you don't pay attention to him, he tends to kick back.  This time, the Grinch kicked back with a vengeance. 

For the last 4 weekends there has been an episode of varying proportions, the climax of which culminated in me maxing out on all my pain meds and learning that paracetamol....... yes paracetamol also comes in injection form.  One thing I will say, works a treat but its fucking painful when it goes in.  Even though its been more than a week since the last incident my arse feels like a pincushion - which does make sitting down on hard surfaces for long periods quite painful.  Obviously I'm not getting the balance right, but who does? 

In 2009, I had the time to contemplate and wallow in self pity. Today I realize that self pity gets you nowhere and there isn't the fucking time. There will always be someone more worse off than you and it's a dog eat dog out there. 

Here is my dilemma, and I'm sure many of you corporate buffs can relate, how do you find that balance?  No one is perfect and in the cut-throat corporate world your worth is only as good as your productivity. So if you are not upto scratch you get spit as fast as u can say "what the f....". So the objective is to keep pushing to meet your deliverables. Problem is, if you push too hard the Grinch will have something to say about it. And if you over-compensate by letting other aspects of your life slip you wake up at 60, alone with a load of cats to keep you company....... And I hate cats. 

So what's the answer? Damned if I know. All I know is I want to live my life to the fullest, and be financially independent. That's a hard thing to do for a normal person let alone dealing with the Grinch and no disability discrimination laws to protect you........ Remember this is Nigeria. 

So my question is this? How do you find that balance?  Can you have everything or does it always come down to a choice?  If you have the answers let me know...........

Toodles!

Sunday 21 July 2013

NEVER under-estimate the stupidity of Man

I'm not sure where to even start on this post..........

On the 16th of July 2013 the Nigerian Senate resolved to amend section 29 (a) of the constitution that stipulates that a woman shall not be qualified for marriage until she attains the 18 years as they deleted age specification for women being married from the draft constitution and left the marriage age for women open. 

This action was spearheaded by Ahmed Sani Yarima, former governor of Zamfara state.  For those of us that remember he was the charmer that bagged a 13 year old Egyptian bride in 2009.  The 'Stud Muffin' argued that according to Islamic Law a woman is deemed to be 'full of age' once she is married irrespective of her age.  Therefore section 29 (a) contravened item 61 (2.) under part 1 of the second schedule to the constitution which prohibits the National Assembly legislating on matters pertaining to Islamic and Customary laws.

First, you got to give the man his props, he's a fucking sneaky genius.  Dude has been lying in wait for this opportunity and by Joe he took it.  The same cannot be said for the 35 idiots that voted this motion into reality.  To view the paedophile lineup click here

Ironically, the next day our neighbours, the Ghanians, announced that they were considering altering the marriage age from 18 to 23 years.  This recommendation came from their chief government statistician, who stated that measure was to slow down population growth and also improve women's quality of life.  In one motion, a country showed up Nigeria for the stupidity of those 35 (and I'm sure there are many more men..... and women <- heaven help us).  

This nicely leads to my argument.  There needs to be a separation of between Government & Religion.  In a country where there is a 50-50ish split between Christianity and Islam, using one religion as a technicality so affect Nigeria's constitution for a peadophile's wet dream totally trivialises our Consitution.  I'm not a political person, and I avoid political debate as much as I can, but I can't get over the fact that people use Religion - based on emotions and beliefs - over numbers and fact.

A couple of weeks ago my friends and I had a debate on how in Nigeria what to do if you see a dead body on the road.  I'm not going to rehash that debate but one of the points that was raised was that we should have the infrastructure to support the quick removal of dead bodies found on the streets of Nigeria.  This was another example of how religious beliefs slow down key decisions needed to improve the welfare of Nigerians.

If anyone has had the misfortune of dealing with a death in the family, you know when it comes to choosing a mortuary, your best bet is go private.  Why?  The government mortuaries are over run with unclaimed bodies.  The backlog is crazy which is why Fashola changed the law to allow Lagos state to cremate unclaimed bodies after a certain time period.  When this was announced religious factions were up in arms!  Never mind the stretch on infrastructure or the backlog of unclaimed dead bodies.

I digress......... here a bunch of paedophiles were able to change the constitution of this country to legalise their paedophilia using religion to get away with it.  This cannot stand.   So join the voices that are opposed to this new development!

Sign the petition


Become empowered with knowledge (This doesn't only happen in Nigeria)


If you have influence, make sure you use it.  Let your voice be heard, because if we don't do something then no one else will.

Toodles!!

Thursday 11 July 2013

Give me my damned meds!

One of the many side effects of sickle cell is opioid tolerance. This basically means that over time and use, the body builds up a tolerance to opiates used for pain control.

Gone are my younger days when a dose of less than 5 milligrams of Morphine got me over the initial crisis attack.  Now I have the pleasure of 10mg of Morphine every 4 hours (in the UK A&E, 3 doses and you're admitted.......locked in against your will).

In Nigeria, the drug combination strategy is preferred.  This usually involves Morphine and........wait for it..... 100mg worth of Diclofenac Sodium Suppositories!!  It’s a surreal experience when you actually look forward to a nurse shoving her finger up you arsehole.

I've never understood drug addicts. Taking opiates for a casual high seems like such a waste. I mean from the lethargy, to the hallucinations, the constant itching, and the constipation, why on earth would you sign up for that?  

Anyways I digress.  Opioid tolerance is the main reason why I ABSOLUTELY HATE hospitals.  There are other reasons but we'll get to them later.........

Pain is a sensation that the human body puts out because there is something wrong, that usually comes with a visual i.e. you break your leg - you feel the pain and you see a mangled leg.  The clusterfuckery of Sickle Cell is that there are no visuals.  The other issue with the pain is that it doesn't freaking stay in one place!  It would start in your left leg and then an hour later its moved up to your back.

As a casual bystander, take that visual - or lack thereof - switch and visualise yourself as the doctor administering narcotics.   Now add to the scenario the fact that you have already administered the max dosage and your patient is still screaming stating that the pain has moved to another body part.  Shady innit?

This is the scenario I am faced with EVERY time I have to go to a hospital without sickle cell protocols, and overly suspicious doctors. 

Which leads me to another reason why I hate hospitals.......... Shear bloody ignorance.

While I understand that the medical professionals have to deal with actual addicts looking for their next fix, it is - pardon the pun - a pain.

The phrase "But you look really healthy" is one of the most infuriating statements one can hear while they are doubled up in pain begging for pain relief.

Because of these perceptions I made some stupid decisions as a young buck. First, I'd wait at least 6 hours before I would call an ambulance to take me to hospital. Second, I would allow a doctor to ration my meds on the argument that they don't want me to become an addict. Both actions made me miserable because I'd be out of commission for more than a week, with another week to get 'back to normal'. 

This was my mode of operation until a sickle cell specialist nurse broke it down to me. Simple fact - the longer a sickler is in pain, the longer the recovery time.  Remember those muscles tensed up because of the pain? The longer those muscles are tense, the longer it will take for you to recover post-crisis. So while a doctor is pontificating on whether a sickler in pain is a drug addict looking for their next fix, their recovery time is being extended. 

At that point I became empowered. I started to ask questions about my treatment.  So for those of you out there still trying to figure out you own protocol, here is mine

1.    Identify what kind of crisis you're dealing with;
o   The Creeper: these ones you can manage at the start, but when they start to crescendo with pain meds......... go to the hospital
o   The Woosh: these ones catch you off-guard in the MOST awkward of situations.... don't worry we shall talk about that later.  They come fast and hard (yes that does sound dodgy) and they can literally take your breath away. Immediately you identify a Woosh, do not stop at Go, take a pill or try to manage that mutherfucker  - make a beeline to the hospital.
2.   Pain Meds: Demand them IMMEDIATELY.  You are allowed to bargain with your doctor regarding dosage.  This is however dependent on your relationship with your doctor.  I would recommend that you see your Consultant Haematologist at least once every 6 months even when you aren't ill.  Where there are records of your self-management there is less suspicion of you being a junkie.
3.   Fluids: get ready Wizz like a Mofo.  During a crisis your vessels are literally clogged up with ill-fitting blood cells.  The fluids help flush out the clog and keeps the blood moving. Failing that you run the real risk of having a stroke.  Fluid delivery can happen one of two ways;
1.   By Mouth: this is my preferred option, however dependent on the pain it can be a tug-of-war with the nurses on the efficiency of this method
2.   By Drip: the doctor's preference.  Its more efficient and they can infuse antibiotics, and other medication without having to stab the patient further. Reason why I hate it? You need to get stuck in the vein with a needle. 
Hypodermic needles are colour coded by size:
·      Brown  Big Man dem type veins
·      Green  Normal size veins
·      Pink – Little girlie type veins
·      Blue – Baby type veins 
Inexperienced doctors will turn you into a pincushion.  I warn doctors coming near me to only use the blue needles and because after 33 years of sickle cell experience I have the veins of a junkie.  So know your needle size and let the doctors know!!!
4.    Oxygen: Get that mask on and be prepared to Breathe In, Breathe Out.  Why?  Your body at the time of crisis is starved of oxygen.  As I stated before, pain is a sign that there is something wrong – so more oxygen, less pain.  Ironically, the lack of oxygen can also trigger a crisis so it’s always good to do some breathing exercises when feeling low.
So the next time you have to go to the hospital (I hope it’ll be not in the too near future, but don't be fooled – it will happen) be equip and take control.   Be demanding, ask questions and let the doctors know that while you are a patient, you are also an expert in your field – YOU.


Toodles!

Thursday 27 June 2013

Countdown till July 4 (July 7 for us non-Samsung ppls)........ Jayz can't let me down

Been posting a lot lately and I'm sure I'm jumping on a mad marketing bandwagon but dude.......the phenomenon that is Magna Carta Holy Grail is approaching........ and it can't any sooner!!

But lets talk about the marketing....... sure genius!  You mean to say before you even release the album you already have Platinum status?!  Now let me put into context, the Jayz brand - going on the quality of the music alone - does NOT need to ensure success before the masses get to it.  There are too many JayZ die-hards in the world, but this is not enough for Jayz.

Some might think of it as cheating, I mean he has moved the goal post on this album release, but in order to get a company like Samsung to outright BUY copies of your music before release? Tooo MAD!!  


Now I'm not going to buy a samsung phone anytime soon..... I'm still a die-hard iPhone chick.... but I'm itching for this album.  From the piano hook, to the speakers blowing out, to 'I made you a verb....... I always wanted to be a verb' comment I can't wait.

Jayz you can't let me down..........

Toddles!

Wednesday 26 June 2013

Introducing.................The artist Bemyoda

I say it time and time again......... there is talent in this country.  You just have to stand still and focus past the chaos that is Nigeria.  In recent years we have seen an explosion of talent on the music scene.......from the pop hits from D'Banj to the eclectic sounds of Blackmagic, to the soulful croons of Bez, we are spoilt for choice.

I came across singer/songwriter Bemyoda on NdaniTV Sessions and I was blown away.  Ndani TV further described Bemyoda as follows; 

"Bemyoda is as much a creative writer as he is a beautiful singer. He does not present you music that is the norm; every line is the summary of a deeper meaning, every phrase explains a concept larger than it. His soulful sound has influences ranging from jazz and the blues to neo-soul and afro-pop, creating the eclectic mix that is Bemyoda.....”


Personally, I just love the 'earth' in his voice.  It has a depth that just makes you want to get lost in.  Yes I confess I am a shameless groupie!

On the 13th of June, Bemyoda released his EP Sketch for us to enjoy.  Click here to download and appreciate!!  If you luv his music like I do, feel free to drop him a line on Twitter and Facebook :)

Toodles!!!

Monday 24 June 2013

My Hair Journey

Growing up, I always thought of myself as an 'fugly' child.  I was a tomboy at heart in a house full of girlie girls (save my Dad of course...).  In recent years I've come into my own style-wise.  I absolutely love my hair and I would not have it any other way. 

This was an interview intended for another blog but I thought it would be fun sharing it with you.   So if you have any questions feel free to leave a comment and I'll get back to you........ Toddles!

How long have you been natural?
I have been natural since 2001 and I started my locs 31st of January 2008

Why did you decide to go natural?
I was never happy with my hair relaxed.  I remember as a child I would beg my mother for a perm because all the girls in school had it and they looked more grown up.  I remember sitting in the chair thinking that I would transform from an ugly caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly with my newly permed hair.

Big Mistake!!  My hair didn’t take to the relaxer and due to my high pain threshold - as indicated in my other posts - I would always end up with a burnt scabby scalp. 
My Afro in 2001
During my undergraduate, I just got to a point where enough was enough!!  I started to braid my hair with extensions and ‘waited’ for the relaxed hair to fall off.  I absolutely loved the flexibility my natural hair gave me in the UK.  I could switch between two-strand twists and bone straight pressed hairstyles. 

My transition to natural hair was a journey of self-discovery while my journey to locs was one of self-assuredness.  I knew I wasn’t going to go back to the creamy crack, and managing my afro was getting cumbersome, so the only option I was willing to try was to loc my hair.  It wasn’t a drastic change; I had maintained my natural hair using two-strand twists for about four years.  Most people at that point already assumed that I had locs, so I took the plunge.

With my parents took the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ approach.  My mother had always supported the move to natural hair but I think my parent’s apprehension was more towards how the negative connotations towards locs would affect me getting a job.   
My starter locks around July 2008
What do you do, and how does your hair affect your job or vice versa?
At the time I started my locs I was in the final year of my Ph.D. No one cared about the state of my hair because no one saw me.  This was advantageous because even the best-kept locs at the starter stage can look a little nappy, and frankly I looked like a boy!

My corporate career started in Nigeria, so by the time I joined the rat race my locs were fairly mature.  My first Job was at a well-known Investment Bank in Nigeria.  My hair wasn’t long enough to put into a bun, so I would have my locs curled and styled to take to work.  At the time I never really thought about what impact my locs would have on people’s impression on me.

The reality of the situation is this – Employers that are too focused on what your hair is as opposed to what value you bring with regards to your skills are short sighted.  As an employee your responsibility to ensure that you are tidy and presentable to clients at all time, regardless if you have a weave, relaxed, braided, natural or loc’d hair.
Curling my hair
The result, obviously I was bored at work, Aug 2010
Have you been to Nigeria since you went natural?
 Yes I have

What was your experience being natural in Nigeria?
My initial experience in Nigeria was not a happy one, hair-wise.  When I would come home on Christmas vacations, I could never find a hairdresser that would not try to convince me to relax my hair!  They mistreated my hair and couldn’t understand why an African woman would have natural hair for non-religious reasons!!!

These vacation experiences contributed towards the transition from Afro to Locs.  I knew I wouldn’t be happy with how I would have to maintain my hair in Nigeria, so I decided to loc before I moved back home.  In a lot of ways maintaining locs is easier than maintaining an Afro.

Having locs in Nigeria has also been an interesting experience.
  1. Is that all your hair?
  2. No really?  What extentions did you put?
  3. Really is that all your hair?  I thought it was braids!!
  4. How long have you had your hair like this?
  5. Really?  And you haven’t changed your hair since?
  6. What happens when you want to do another style?  Do you have to cut it off?
  7. What do you mean your not considering cutting your locs off anytime soon?
Above are the typical questions women typically ask me on a day-to-day basis.  I’ve even had a woman pull on my hair because she wasn’t convinced I was telling the truth.

What are the challenges you’ve encountered since going natural?
Maintenance has always been an issue for me.  I am lazy when it comes to my hair, so I’m always on the lookout for stylists that can help me maintain my hair.  Finding stylists in Nigeria has always been an issue.

What is your routine?
Once a month I wash, deep condition and re-loc the base of my locs.  To loc I use a shea butter and coconut oil mix.  I then will sit under a hair dryer to dry my roots and let the rest of my hair air dry.  This helps retain moisture within the hair, which helps my hair feel soft.


I would not recommend using bees wax because it is heavy and tends to fix lint into the hair giving it a permanent grey look.  Locking Gel is also a massive no-no.  Locking gel tends to dry out your hair making it brittle and hard.

In-between hair appointments I maintain my hair with shea butter whips, almond oil and tea-tree sprays for my scalp.  The key is always to ‘listen’ to your hair.  Shea butter tends to be heavy so if I do use it I use it sparingly to avoid build up.  I stay way from petroleum-based products because they build up residue in the hair and can be difficult to get out.




On occasion I do like to dye my hair (yes, I do get bored of my hair from time to time).  I use semi-permanent dyes and I tend to leave those treatments far and few between because they can dry out your hair.




Who are your natural hair Idols?
Before they chopped off their locs, my hair idols were India Aire and Lauren Hill.

I Love Love Love Love Franchesca Ramsey on YouTube (Chescalocs & Chescaleigh).  She has inspired me to experiment with my hair, which has added an element of fun to my style.



Closer to home, there is Nibi - owner of the Kinky Apothecary blog.  She is the expert of all things Natural Hair!!

Wednesday 19 June 2013

Sickle Cell Awareness Day

Today (June 19th) is World Sickle Cell Awareness day created by the United Nations.......... It's days like today that make me wonder about my very existence.

There is a lot of energy being put into the awareness of sickle cell, it's prevention and its possible cure, but sadly the same effort hasn't been put into trying to understand how people live with the condition. 

The concept of prevention scares me. I know it's coming from a selfish place, but let me explain. Due to my mother's rare genotype, when my parents got married they couldn't identify she carried the Beta thalassemia trait. So my parents sired me without knowing I was a sickler....... So the question is, if they had of known would I exist? 

Today in Nigeria, many churches have taken up the role of not sanctioning marriages between a couple who both have the sickle cell trait. I find this very disturbing!  

The decision of marriage should be between the two people to want to go on that journey. Sickle cell awareness should help the couple make a well informed decision about their journey but it should not define whether they take the challenge or not. 

Don't get me wrong, it's not an ideal situation, but hell there is a 3 in 4 chance of them having a non-sickler. In addition due to advances in medicine it is possible to test early enough in the pregnancy to find out whether the child has sickle or not.  There are options for those individuals that decide to take up the chance of having a sickler, but that is for another post.

Being a sickler does suck balls but dammit I exist, and I am fully functional. I have achieved a lot in my life and I'm sure my parents are proud of me and are happy they had me. 

Sickle cell awareness should also be about celebrating our Sickle Cell Warriors. The ones that come out swinging, despite the odds.  So today, spread the word about Sickle Cell, research it, understand it, and by all means HUG A SICKLER, they'll appreciate it.

Toddles!!

Found this video of another sickler, Prodigy from Mobb Deep (his status was made famous by 2Pac)

Thursday 13 June 2013

What's it like being a Sickler?

The first time someone asked me that question I shot back a typical Foxy reply "What's it like being normal?"

I still get irritated when people make the mistake of asking that question. I mean, this has been my existence from the day one.  So how exactly do you want me to quantify it for you?  What do you want me to compare it to?

What does sickle cell pain feel like?

It’s a question that most people ask and it’s not an easy question to answer.  Pain is a sensation that everyone experiences to varying degrees but its not something that one can define.  Here is the thing; unless you have sickle cell you will NEVER truly understand what the pain feels like.

Why do I say this?  There is a clear distinction between 'regular' pain and sickle pain.  Regular pain is a fucking breeze compared to sickle pain, let me give you an example......... Black women addicted to the creamy crack (hair relaxer) I'm sure you can relate.

At 18, my pain threshold had gotten so high that whenever I relaxed my hair I couldn't tell when my scalp was burning. Needless to say, the last time I relaxed my hair I was left with scabs that covered over 60% of my scalp.  That was the start of my natural hair journey........ yes I shall blog about this too.

I realise that this might not be enough of a description for some skeptics out there so I did some research to see if there were any Sicklers who could do a better job, see video below.


So what happens when you have a crisis?

There are 4 types of crisis
1. Aplastic crisis
2. Haemolytic crisis
3. Splenic sequestration crisis
4. Vaso-occlusive crisis
I won't go into the definitions but I have the great fortune of only experiencing vaso-occlusive crisis.  A vaso-occlusive crisis is caused when the sickle-shaped red blood cells obstruct capillaries and restrict blood flow to organs. 

So my answer is simple........ unadulterated pain.

These 'sessions' can vary - from the ickle ones you can manage on your own, to the mutherfuckers that land you in hospital.  I still can't decide which one I prefer.....   

The ickle ones tend to last from days to weeks.  You can still function, but the pain is in the background.  This can be frustrating, as you don't know whether its going to get better or worse.  It also feels like it takes twice as much effort to get everyday stuff done. 

The mutherfuckers tend to be shorter (if there is no underlying infection), but the aftermath can be a bitch to deal with.  Let me explain....... 


The body's reaction to pain is to tense up the muscles around the area of pain.  The longer your muscles are tensed, the more those muscles work.  During a crisis you're too busy with the sickle pain to notice.  When its done, your body can feel like you've been hit by a bus....... been backed up on and hit all over again for good measure. 

The side effects of the pain medication are also something to consider.  They can make you
  1. Drowsy - this side effect I love because it forces you to take the time out.  You have no choice.  The body in its drugged state shuts down to heal.
  2. Constipated - same way the drugs slow you down, its slows down your digestive system.  The longer you're on those meds, the longer it takes for your digestive system to bounce back.  In some cases I've had to explore the laxative route to unblock the 'blockage'.  Picture that scene in Trainspotting where post heroin high, Renton (Ewan McGregor) uses a laxative suppository to sort out his constipation........ No more words need to be said on that score.
The final thing I will say is that there is absolutely no dignity in pain.  There is no posing......AT ALL (insert bush Naija accent here).  Take a woman who is in labour or a man who has been kicked in the nuts.  The last thing on your mind when you're in that much pain is how good you look, how badly behaved you are, other people's feelings, or how cute the doctor who's shooting you up with Morphine is.  You let go completely, this tumblr post sums it up beautifully.  

This has given me a 'I don't give a fuck' attitude on a lot of things, and I think I'm better for it.  I don't care what people think of me, or how I look to people.  I have been known to turn up at my friends house in my pjs, bedroom slippers equip with hot water bottle - who is named Babe.  It has contributed to the uniqueness that is me :) .

Toodles!!

In my search for videos, I came across lil Zechariah's video.  Maybe because its too close to home I couldn't bring myself to embed it on this post but I still think it is important to share his experience with you.

Monday 10 June 2013

I won't lie I'm impressed by the force that is T-Boz Watkins

There are not a lot of people in this world that I can honestly say I truly admire and respect. T-Boz Watkins is one of those people.  Looking at what she has been able to achieve despite the odds is an outstanding achievement.  I was trawling the internet for inspiration and I found a couple of videos, this one I broke it down.



I was privileged growing up in Nigeria.  I have two parents that are medical so I rarely went into hospital (and I HATE hospitals, but lets leave that for a later post).  My bedroom can still be converted to a hospital room at a moments notice.  The price you pay for being privileged - you are sheltered from the realities that lie in store for you.  

Yes I knew I have a chronic illness but I didn't realise how it will affect MY future.  As a teenager, I didn't think about how that would affect my career, future partner, if I was going to have kids, quality of life and life expectancy.  

Reality hit during a biology lesson at secondary school.  We were studying the Blood types and genotypes.  Obviously the topic of Sickle Cell came up and that was when my sheltered existence came crashing down around me.  Knowing my status, my teacher gave me one of those old text books used to educate newly weds on the perils of Sickle Cell.  *side-bar, this same teacher made me go to the staff room where she proceeded to pray for my healing - needless to say it was one of the many instances that influence my mistrust of religion*

It was a depressing read.

  1. Life expectancy 30 - 40 years (and that was a good thing)
  2. Strokes
  3. Swollen joints
  4. Kidney failure
  5. Loss of eye sight
  6. Necrosis of the hip and other major joints
  7. Leg ulcers
  8. Bone Infections
The list seemed endless.  Was this what I had to look forward to?  In a lot of ways the answer is yes...... but the one thing I have learnt in this life is this; how you deal with shitty situations defines you as a person.

Enter TLC.  

CrazySexyCool was the first album that I really connected to, and then I found out T-Boz was a Sickler and it blew me away!!  

In my world I was always told to 'take it easy', 'you aren't the same as everyone else' and then there was T-Boz who was dancing, singing and pursing her own dreams!  My world involved me hiding my status (again this is worthy of its own post) and there was this individual who was shouting it from the rooftops!!! 


It wasn't a solution to the problem, and trust me I still had a lot of growing up to do (still do), but it gave me the determination to NEVER let my condition get the better of me.  Now I won't lie there are times when it does get you down and you do have those 'why me' moments.  The key is to brush it off, remember your goals and move the fuck on!  Life won't wait for you.

T-Boz Watkins showed me that.  T-Boz I would like to Thank You from the bottom of my heart for you just being you.