Friday, 6 December 2013

CRIMSON

I'm always on the lookout for Nigerian talent.  It brings me great joy when you find people who you have people who reek of creativity and showcase their talent.  Case in point is Blue Graffiti Films who have brought us the Crimson series.

 "Crimson is a series of short factitious thrillers loosely based on several mysteries within Nigeria's intriguing political space."

I absolutely love what I've seen so far!!!

Presently there are three episodes in the series


Written and Directed by Daniel Etim Effiong. Produced by Lala Akindoju. Photographed by Kagho Idhebor Crowther and edited by Mohammed Atta.

I'm not going big it up too much so I don't spoil it for you guys but I love the cinematography and the writing.   

Check it out and subscribe to their channel 


Toodles!!

Monday, 11 November 2013

Hello my name is [insert name], would you like to be my friend?

This post is going to serve a guide (I'm struggling really hard to not write idiot's guide) to being a friend to a sickler.

Why do you need a guide?  You don't really but sometimes its nice to have some clarity on how to handle certain situations and reduce the number of douchebag moments.

I don't look like a Sickler. What does that mean? People assume that because one is a Sickler one must look sick......all the damned time!!  In the book that traumatized me - for a refresher read this, it indicated that Sicklers had the following physical characteristics

1.  Yellow skin and yellow eyes
2.  Buck teeth
3.  Predominate foreheads
4.  Inflamed joints. The list was endless. 

I like many others don't have these physical characteristics, so friends & family tend to forget.

Its a double edge sword.  While Sicklers don't want to be reminded of what they are, they need for their friends & family to remember.  Why?  Because in a bid to be 'normal' some Sicklers take risks to be in-with-the-crowd.  Everyone goes through this........ its part of growing up.  The only difference is for Sicklers or anyone with a pre-existing condition the repercussions tend to be predictable and more severe.  In my previous posts I've talked about the short term effects of sickle cell pain.  There are long term implications each time a Sickler has a crisis, one of which is Bone Sclerosis.

Bone Sclerosis otherwise known as the bruising of the bone.  Research has shown that there is a positive correlation between bone sclerosis and crisis episodes. In essence, just because you don't see anything on the outside, believe that there is some damage going on on the inside.  Side effects of bone sclerosis can range from the 'bowing' of the vertebrae and the slow corrosion of the head of the Femur. When you are a young spritely young buck you don't think of these things. When you get older...... TRUST the fear of growing shorter or getting your hips replaced is no joke!

Back to friends & family.  In my experience one of two situations can occur;
  1. Friends/family tend to wrap Sicklers in cotton wool. While this comes from a good place it does get fucking annoying!
  2. Friends/family forget and push Sicklers (unwittingly) into compromising situations.
I am the first to admit that in the latter situation the Sickler should take on the responsibility of just saying no, but it does get wary when one has to say NO all the time. And this leads perfectly into where being a young, stupid whippersnapper comes into play:

So what is a Sicklers Kryptonite? The concept of being 'normal' - to have cold showers, drink only when thirsty, get cheap travel insurance, run on a treadmill for more than 20 mins, survive on less than 6 hours sleep, drink their fellow drinking buddies under the table, step outside in the cold without a sweater/coat, go 6 months without having to see a hematologist, ophthalmologist or an orthopedic doctor.....  The worse thing you could do to a Sickler is to make them feel like they are not normal...... but the reality is they aren't.

Over the years I have perfected the art of my 'play by ear' system when it comes to social commitments, much to the annoyance of friends and family.  The reality is no two days are the same, one day I could wake up full of energy, and in a split second a crisis could start.  So I cancel on my friends last minute and am hesitant to commit, this usually leads to frustrating conversations where I come off as a mean-spirited stubborn cow.  Those conversations irritate the fuck out of me.  The easiest thing for me to do would be for me to state the reason why I can't come out is because of the Grinch.......... but that would mean that I'm not normal.  So as a family/friend, if I say, I can't come out....... accept and respect it.

So what do you do when you happen to be with a Sickler during a Crisis?

Its funny..... I don't like having friends and family around me when I'm in 'full flow'.  Why?  Apart from it not being a fun time, I find myself comforting and re-assuring my friends/family.  It is exhausting.  I have been know to 'disappear' - what do I mean? There was a incident where I was staying over at a friend's house in Stratford.  The Grinch decided to make a house call and rather than alert my friends, I snuck out of the house, and drove.....in pain to Lewisham hospital. That is roughly a 10 mile drive.  Needless to say, my friend and her now husband were very upset with me.

So what do you do?  Just be supportive.  We've (Sicklers) have a lifetime's experience with this.  So don't panic, be strong, and LISTEN.  Tosin Coker states this eloquently, so have a gander.................

Toodles!!


Thursday, 12 September 2013

Nigerian Talent - Introducing Sporedust

Nigeria has mad talent!!!

The first time I met Sporedust http://www.sporedust.com/ was at a TEDxVictoriaIsland event where they presented the a version of the video below.  Needless to say they brought the house down.  

- Enjoy

Thursday, 8 August 2013

Finding that balance

This last month has been absolute hell.

From time to time the Grinch - sidebar, for the purposes of this post I am calling Sickle cell "the Grinch" because right now those are my feelings towards it - likes to remind me who's boss.

In 2009 I achieved my record number of hospital visits within 1 week.  My record is five, yes 5 times. Though one of those visits involved a hilarious episode (though I didn't think it at the time) where I had an allergic reaction to the seafood medley my long suffering twin sister cooked me.  I woke up at 4am with my face itching to high hell, and my lips felt like I had kissed the wrong end of a bubble bee.  I will never forget my irritation at the A&E receptionist when she unwittingly asked, in her cockney accent, "So why are you here today?".  My reaction was shove my face closer to the glass divider, point my finger towards my face and say "Can't you tell??".  Till this day I'm convinced that that allergic reaction due to the combination of the drugs and the seafood.

Besides that episode, that week was hell, no matter what I did, I kept on having to go back.....screaming for the drugs and being thankful that the episode was over so I could continue with my life.  Apart from the physical exhaustion, that shit does a number on your psychi.  At the time I didn't have the pressure of a full-time job.  I was writing my thesis, so my schedule was flexible and taking time-outs were okay.  So in between hospital sessions I would sit down and think about my existence.  Given the circumstances self pity usually creeps in.  Was this all I had to look forward to?  Why me?  What the fuck...... why is this happening again.....what did I do differently?

So now we come back to August 2013.  I've moved back to Nigeria, on my hustle, working full-time job at a bank (what was I thinking?!!!), single, and co-existing with the Grinch.  Work has been challenging (I may complain about it, but I love the challenge) with long working days (round about 12 hr days), and being single I do enjoy an active social life.  The Grinch don't like that.  See, the Grinch is a very jealous lover, so when you don't pay attention to him, he tends to kick back.  This time, the Grinch kicked back with a vengeance. 

For the last 4 weekends there has been an episode of varying proportions, the climax of which culminated in me maxing out on all my pain meds and learning that paracetamol....... yes paracetamol also comes in injection form.  One thing I will say, works a treat but its fucking painful when it goes in.  Even though its been more than a week since the last incident my arse feels like a pincushion - which does make sitting down on hard surfaces for long periods quite painful.  Obviously I'm not getting the balance right, but who does? 

In 2009, I had the time to contemplate and wallow in self pity. Today I realize that self pity gets you nowhere and there isn't the fucking time. There will always be someone more worse off than you and it's a dog eat dog out there. 

Here is my dilemma, and I'm sure many of you corporate buffs can relate, how do you find that balance?  No one is perfect and in the cut-throat corporate world your worth is only as good as your productivity. So if you are not upto scratch you get spit as fast as u can say "what the f....". So the objective is to keep pushing to meet your deliverables. Problem is, if you push too hard the Grinch will have something to say about it. And if you over-compensate by letting other aspects of your life slip you wake up at 60, alone with a load of cats to keep you company....... And I hate cats. 

So what's the answer? Damned if I know. All I know is I want to live my life to the fullest, and be financially independent. That's a hard thing to do for a normal person let alone dealing with the Grinch and no disability discrimination laws to protect you........ Remember this is Nigeria. 

So my question is this? How do you find that balance?  Can you have everything or does it always come down to a choice?  If you have the answers let me know...........

Toodles!

Sunday, 21 July 2013

NEVER under-estimate the stupidity of Man

I'm not sure where to even start on this post..........

On the 16th of July 2013 the Nigerian Senate resolved to amend section 29 (a) of the constitution that stipulates that a woman shall not be qualified for marriage until she attains the 18 years as they deleted age specification for women being married from the draft constitution and left the marriage age for women open. 

This action was spearheaded by Ahmed Sani Yarima, former governor of Zamfara state.  For those of us that remember he was the charmer that bagged a 13 year old Egyptian bride in 2009.  The 'Stud Muffin' argued that according to Islamic Law a woman is deemed to be 'full of age' once she is married irrespective of her age.  Therefore section 29 (a) contravened item 61 (2.) under part 1 of the second schedule to the constitution which prohibits the National Assembly legislating on matters pertaining to Islamic and Customary laws.

First, you got to give the man his props, he's a fucking sneaky genius.  Dude has been lying in wait for this opportunity and by Joe he took it.  The same cannot be said for the 35 idiots that voted this motion into reality.  To view the paedophile lineup click here

Ironically, the next day our neighbours, the Ghanians, announced that they were considering altering the marriage age from 18 to 23 years.  This recommendation came from their chief government statistician, who stated that measure was to slow down population growth and also improve women's quality of life.  In one motion, a country showed up Nigeria for the stupidity of those 35 (and I'm sure there are many more men..... and women <- heaven help us).  

This nicely leads to my argument.  There needs to be a separation of between Government & Religion.  In a country where there is a 50-50ish split between Christianity and Islam, using one religion as a technicality so affect Nigeria's constitution for a peadophile's wet dream totally trivialises our Consitution.  I'm not a political person, and I avoid political debate as much as I can, but I can't get over the fact that people use Religion - based on emotions and beliefs - over numbers and fact.

A couple of weeks ago my friends and I had a debate on how in Nigeria what to do if you see a dead body on the road.  I'm not going to rehash that debate but one of the points that was raised was that we should have the infrastructure to support the quick removal of dead bodies found on the streets of Nigeria.  This was another example of how religious beliefs slow down key decisions needed to improve the welfare of Nigerians.

If anyone has had the misfortune of dealing with a death in the family, you know when it comes to choosing a mortuary, your best bet is go private.  Why?  The government mortuaries are over run with unclaimed bodies.  The backlog is crazy which is why Fashola changed the law to allow Lagos state to cremate unclaimed bodies after a certain time period.  When this was announced religious factions were up in arms!  Never mind the stretch on infrastructure or the backlog of unclaimed dead bodies.

I digress......... here a bunch of paedophiles were able to change the constitution of this country to legalise their paedophilia using religion to get away with it.  This cannot stand.   So join the voices that are opposed to this new development!

Sign the petition


Become empowered with knowledge (This doesn't only happen in Nigeria)


If you have influence, make sure you use it.  Let your voice be heard, because if we don't do something then no one else will.

Toodles!!

Thursday, 11 July 2013

Give me my damned meds!

One of the many side effects of sickle cell is opioid tolerance. This basically means that over time and use, the body builds up a tolerance to opiates used for pain control.

Gone are my younger days when a dose of less than 5 milligrams of Morphine got me over the initial crisis attack.  Now I have the pleasure of 10mg of Morphine every 4 hours (in the UK A&E, 3 doses and you're admitted.......locked in against your will).

In Nigeria, the drug combination strategy is preferred.  This usually involves Morphine and........wait for it..... 100mg worth of Diclofenac Sodium Suppositories!!  It’s a surreal experience when you actually look forward to a nurse shoving her finger up you arsehole.

I've never understood drug addicts. Taking opiates for a casual high seems like such a waste. I mean from the lethargy, to the hallucinations, the constant itching, and the constipation, why on earth would you sign up for that?  

Anyways I digress.  Opioid tolerance is the main reason why I ABSOLUTELY HATE hospitals.  There are other reasons but we'll get to them later.........

Pain is a sensation that the human body puts out because there is something wrong, that usually comes with a visual i.e. you break your leg - you feel the pain and you see a mangled leg.  The clusterfuckery of Sickle Cell is that there are no visuals.  The other issue with the pain is that it doesn't freaking stay in one place!  It would start in your left leg and then an hour later its moved up to your back.

As a casual bystander, take that visual - or lack thereof - switch and visualise yourself as the doctor administering narcotics.   Now add to the scenario the fact that you have already administered the max dosage and your patient is still screaming stating that the pain has moved to another body part.  Shady innit?

This is the scenario I am faced with EVERY time I have to go to a hospital without sickle cell protocols, and overly suspicious doctors. 

Which leads me to another reason why I hate hospitals.......... Shear bloody ignorance.

While I understand that the medical professionals have to deal with actual addicts looking for their next fix, it is - pardon the pun - a pain.

The phrase "But you look really healthy" is one of the most infuriating statements one can hear while they are doubled up in pain begging for pain relief.

Because of these perceptions I made some stupid decisions as a young buck. First, I'd wait at least 6 hours before I would call an ambulance to take me to hospital. Second, I would allow a doctor to ration my meds on the argument that they don't want me to become an addict. Both actions made me miserable because I'd be out of commission for more than a week, with another week to get 'back to normal'. 

This was my mode of operation until a sickle cell specialist nurse broke it down to me. Simple fact - the longer a sickler is in pain, the longer the recovery time.  Remember those muscles tensed up because of the pain? The longer those muscles are tense, the longer it will take for you to recover post-crisis. So while a doctor is pontificating on whether a sickler in pain is a drug addict looking for their next fix, their recovery time is being extended. 

At that point I became empowered. I started to ask questions about my treatment.  So for those of you out there still trying to figure out you own protocol, here is mine

1.    Identify what kind of crisis you're dealing with;
o   The Creeper: these ones you can manage at the start, but when they start to crescendo with pain meds......... go to the hospital
o   The Woosh: these ones catch you off-guard in the MOST awkward of situations.... don't worry we shall talk about that later.  They come fast and hard (yes that does sound dodgy) and they can literally take your breath away. Immediately you identify a Woosh, do not stop at Go, take a pill or try to manage that mutherfucker  - make a beeline to the hospital.
2.   Pain Meds: Demand them IMMEDIATELY.  You are allowed to bargain with your doctor regarding dosage.  This is however dependent on your relationship with your doctor.  I would recommend that you see your Consultant Haematologist at least once every 6 months even when you aren't ill.  Where there are records of your self-management there is less suspicion of you being a junkie.
3.   Fluids: get ready Wizz like a Mofo.  During a crisis your vessels are literally clogged up with ill-fitting blood cells.  The fluids help flush out the clog and keeps the blood moving. Failing that you run the real risk of having a stroke.  Fluid delivery can happen one of two ways;
1.   By Mouth: this is my preferred option, however dependent on the pain it can be a tug-of-war with the nurses on the efficiency of this method
2.   By Drip: the doctor's preference.  Its more efficient and they can infuse antibiotics, and other medication without having to stab the patient further. Reason why I hate it? You need to get stuck in the vein with a needle. 
Hypodermic needles are colour coded by size:
·      Brown  Big Man dem type veins
·      Green  Normal size veins
·      Pink – Little girlie type veins
·      Blue – Baby type veins 
Inexperienced doctors will turn you into a pincushion.  I warn doctors coming near me to only use the blue needles and because after 33 years of sickle cell experience I have the veins of a junkie.  So know your needle size and let the doctors know!!!
4.    Oxygen: Get that mask on and be prepared to Breathe In, Breathe Out.  Why?  Your body at the time of crisis is starved of oxygen.  As I stated before, pain is a sign that there is something wrong – so more oxygen, less pain.  Ironically, the lack of oxygen can also trigger a crisis so it’s always good to do some breathing exercises when feeling low.
So the next time you have to go to the hospital (I hope it’ll be not in the too near future, but don't be fooled – it will happen) be equip and take control.   Be demanding, ask questions and let the doctors know that while you are a patient, you are also an expert in your field – YOU.


Toodles!

Thursday, 27 June 2013

Countdown till July 4 (July 7 for us non-Samsung ppls)........ Jayz can't let me down

Been posting a lot lately and I'm sure I'm jumping on a mad marketing bandwagon but dude.......the phenomenon that is Magna Carta Holy Grail is approaching........ and it can't any sooner!!

But lets talk about the marketing....... sure genius!  You mean to say before you even release the album you already have Platinum status?!  Now let me put into context, the Jayz brand - going on the quality of the music alone - does NOT need to ensure success before the masses get to it.  There are too many JayZ die-hards in the world, but this is not enough for Jayz.

Some might think of it as cheating, I mean he has moved the goal post on this album release, but in order to get a company like Samsung to outright BUY copies of your music before release? Tooo MAD!!  


Now I'm not going to buy a samsung phone anytime soon..... I'm still a die-hard iPhone chick.... but I'm itching for this album.  From the piano hook, to the speakers blowing out, to 'I made you a verb....... I always wanted to be a verb' comment I can't wait.

Jayz you can't let me down..........

Toddles!