Nigerian Talent - Introducing Sporedust

Nigeria has mad talent!!!

The first time I met Sporedust http://www.sporedust.com/ was at a TEDxVictoriaIsland event where they presented the a version of the video below.  Needless to say they brought the house down.  

- Enjoy

Finding that balance

This last month has been absolute hell.

From time to time the Grinch - sidebar, for the purposes of this post I am calling Sickle cell "the Grinch" because right now those are my feelings towards it - likes to remind me who's boss.

In 2009 I achieved my record number of hospital visits within 1 week.  My record is five, yes 5 times. Though one of those visits involved a hilarious episode (though I didn't think it at the time) where I had an allergic reaction to the seafood medley my long suffering twin sister cooked me.  I woke up at 4am with my face itching to high hell, and my lips felt like I had kissed the wrong end of a bubble bee.  I will never forget my irritation at the A&E receptionist when she unwittingly asked, in her cockney accent, "So why are you here today?".  My reaction was shove my face closer to the glass divider, point my finger towards my face and say "Can't you tell??".  Till this day I'm convinced that that allergic reaction due to the combination of the drugs and the seafood.

Besides that episode, that week was hell, no matter what I did, I kept on having to go back.....screaming for the drugs and being thankful that the episode was over so I could continue with my life.  Apart from the physical exhaustion, that shit does a number on your psychi.  At the time I didn't have the pressure of a full-time job.  I was writing my thesis, so my schedule was flexible and taking time-outs were okay.  So in between hospital sessions I would sit down and think about my existence.  Given the circumstances self pity usually creeps in.  Was this all I had to look forward to?  Why me?  What the fuck...... why is this happening again.....what did I do differently?

So now we come back to August 2013.  I've moved back to Nigeria, on my hustle, working full-time job at a bank (what was I thinking?!!!), single, and co-existing with the Grinch.  Work has been challenging (I may complain about it, but I love the challenge) with long working days (round about 12 hr days), and being single I do enjoy an active social life.  The Grinch don't like that.  See, the Grinch is a very jealous lover, so when you don't pay attention to him, he tends to kick back.  This time, the Grinch kicked back with a vengeance. 

For the last 4 weekends there has been an episode of varying proportions, the climax of which culminated in me maxing out on all my pain meds and learning that paracetamol....... yes paracetamol also comes in injection form.  One thing I will say, works a treat but its fucking painful when it goes in.  Even though its been more than a week since the last incident my arse feels like a pincushion - which does make sitting down on hard surfaces for long periods quite painful.  Obviously I'm not getting the balance right, but who does? 

In 2009, I had the time to contemplate and wallow in self pity. Today I realize that self pity gets you nowhere and there isn't the fucking time. There will always be someone more worse off than you and it's a dog eat dog out there. 

Here is my dilemma, and I'm sure many of you corporate buffs can relate, how do you find that balance?  No one is perfect and in the cut-throat corporate world your worth is only as good as your productivity. So if you are not upto scratch you get spit as fast as u can say "what the f....". So the objective is to keep pushing to meet your deliverables. Problem is, if you push too hard the Grinch will have something to say about it. And if you over-compensate by letting other aspects of your life slip you wake up at 60, alone with a load of cats to keep you company....... And I hate cats. 

So what's the answer? Damned if I know. All I know is I want to live my life to the fullest, and be financially independent. That's a hard thing to do for a normal person let alone dealing with the Grinch and no disability discrimination laws to protect you........ Remember this is Nigeria. 

So my question is this? How do you find that balance?  Can you have everything or does it always come down to a choice?  If you have the answers let me know...........

Toodles!

NEVER under-estimate the stupidity of Man

I'm not sure where to even start on this post..........

On the 16th of July 2013 the Nigerian Senate resolved to amend section 29 (a) of the constitution that stipulates that a woman shall not be qualified for marriage until she attains the 18 years as they deleted age specification for women being married from the draft constitution and left the marriage age for women open. 

This action was spearheaded by Ahmed Sani Yarima, former governor of Zamfara state.  For those of us that remember he was the charmer that bagged a 13 year old Egyptian bride in 2009.  The 'Stud Muffin' argued that according to Islamic Law a woman is deemed to be 'full of age' once she is married irrespective of her age.  Therefore section 29 (a) contravened item 61 (2.) under part 1 of the second schedule to the constitution which prohibits the National Assembly legislating on matters pertaining to Islamic and Customary laws.

First, you got to give the man his props, he's a fucking sneaky genius.  Dude has been lying in wait for this opportunity and by Joe he took it.  The same cannot be said for the 35 idiots that voted this motion into reality.  To view the paedophile lineup click here. 

Ironically, the next day our neighbours, the Ghanians, announced that they were considering altering the marriage age from 18 to 23 years.  This recommendation came from their chief government statistician, who stated that measure was to slow down population growth and also improve women's quality of life.  In one motion, a country showed up Nigeria for the stupidity of those 35 (and I'm sure there are many more men..... and women <- heaven help us).  

This nicely leads to my argument.  There needs to be a separation of between Government & Religion.  In a country where there is a 50-50ish split between Christianity and Islam, using one religion as a technicality so affect Nigeria's constitution for a peadophile's wet dream totally trivialises our Consitution.  I'm not a political person, and I avoid political debate as much as I can, but I can't get over the fact that people use Religion - based on emotions and beliefs - over numbers and fact.

A couple of weeks ago my friends and I had a debate on how in Nigeria what to do if you see a dead body on the road.  I'm not going to rehash that debate but one of the points that was raised was that we should have the infrastructure to support the quick removal of dead bodies found on the streets of Nigeria.  This was another example of how religious beliefs slow down key decisions needed to improve the welfare of Nigerians.

If anyone has had the misfortune of dealing with a death in the family, you know when it comes to choosing a mortuary, your best bet is go private.  Why?  The government mortuaries are over run with unclaimed bodies.  The backlog is crazy which is why Fashola changed the law to allow Lagos state to cremate unclaimed bodies after a certain time period.  When this was announced religious factions were up in arms!  Never mind the stretch on infrastructure or the backlog of unclaimed dead bodies.

I digress......... here a bunch of paedophiles were able to change the constitution of this country to legalise their paedophilia using religion to get away with it.  This cannot stand.   So join the voices that are opposed to this new development!

Sign the petition

http://www.change.org/petitions/united-nations-stop-the-nigerian-senate-from-making-under-age-marriage-the-law#share

Become empowered with knowledge (This doesn't only happen in Nigeria)

http://www.girlsnotbrides.org/

If you have influence, make sure you use it.  Let your voice be heard, because if we don't do something then no one else will.

Toodles!!

Give me my damned meds!

One of the many side effects of sickle cell is opioid tolerance. This basically means that over time and use, the body builds up a tolerance to opiates used for pain control.

Gone are my younger days when a dose of less than 5 milligrams of Morphine got me over the initial crisis attack.  Now I have the pleasure of 10mg of Morphine every 4 hours (in the UK A&E, 3 doses and you're admitted.......locked in against your will).

In Nigeria, the drug combination strategy is preferred.  This usually involves Morphine and........wait for it..... 100mg worth of Diclofenac Sodium Suppositories!!  It’s a surreal experience when you actually look forward to a nurse shoving her finger up you arsehole.

I've never understood drug addicts. Taking opiates for a casual high seems like such a waste. I mean from the lethargy, to the hallucinations, the constant itching, and the constipation, why on earth would you sign up for that?  

Anyways I digress.  Opioid tolerance is the main reason why I ABSOLUTELY HATE hospitals.  There are other reasons but we'll get to them later.........

Pain is a sensation that the human body puts out because there is something wrong, that usually comes with a visual i.e. you break your leg - you feel the pain and you see a mangled leg.  The clusterfuckery of Sickle Cell is that there are no visuals.  The other issue with the pain is that it doesn't freaking stay in one place!  It would start in your left leg and then an hour later its moved up to your back.

As a casual bystander, take that visual - or lack thereof - switch and visualise yourself as the doctor administering narcotics.   Now add to the scenario the fact that you have already administered the max dosage and your patient is still screaming stating that the pain has moved to another body part.  Shady innit?

This is the scenario I am faced with EVERY time I have to go to a hospital without sickle cell protocols, and overly suspicious doctors. 

Which leads me to another reason why I hate hospitals.......... Shear bloody ignorance.

While I understand that the medical professionals have to deal with actual addicts looking for their next fix, it is - pardon the pun - a pain.

The phrase "But you look really healthy" is one of the most infuriating statements one can hear while they are doubled up in pain begging for pain relief.

Because of these perceptions I made some stupid decisions as a young buck. First, I'd wait at least 6 hours before I would call an ambulance to take me to hospital. Second, I would allow a doctor to ration my meds on the argument that they don't want me to become an addict. Both actions made me miserable because I'd be out of commission for more than a week, with another week to get 'back to normal'. 

This was my mode of operation until a sickle cell specialist nurse broke it down to me. Simple fact - the longer a sickler is in pain, the longer the recovery time.  Remember those muscles tensed up because of the pain? The longer those muscles are tense, the longer it will take for you to recover post-crisis. So while a doctor is pontificating on whether a sickler in pain is a drug addict looking for their next fix, their recovery time is being extended. 

At that point I became empowered. I started to ask questions about my treatment.  So for those of you out there still trying to figure out you own protocol, here is mine

1.    Identify what kind of crisis you're dealing with;

o   The Creeper: these ones you can manage at the start, but when they start to crescendo with pain meds......... go to the hospital

o   The Woosh: these ones catch you off-guard in the MOST awkward of situations.... don't worry we shall talk about that later.  They come fast and hard (yes that does sound dodgy) and they can literally take your breath away. Immediately you identify a Woosh, do not stop at Go, take a pill or try to manage that mutherfucker  - make a beeline to the hospital.

2.   Pain Meds: Demand them IMMEDIATELY.  You are allowed to bargain with your doctor regarding dosage.  This is however dependent on your relationship with your doctor.  I would recommend that you see your Consultant Haematologist at least once every 6 months even when you aren't ill.  Where there are records of your self-management there is less suspicion of you being a junkie.

3.   Fluids: get ready Wizz like a Mofo.  During a crisis your vessels are literally clogged up with ill-fitting blood cells.  The fluids help flush out the clog and keeps the blood moving. Failing that you run the real risk of having a stroke.  Fluid delivery can happen one of two ways;

1.   By Mouth: this is my preferred option, however dependent on the pain it can be a tug-of-war with the nurses on the efficiency of this method

2.   By Drip: the doctor's preference.  Its more efficient and they can infuse antibiotics, and other medication without having to stab the patient further. Reason why I hate it? You need to get stuck in the vein with a needle. 

Hypodermic needles are colour coded by size:

·      Brown – Big Man dem type veins

·      Green – Normal size veins

·      Pink – Little girlie type veins

·      Blue – Baby type veins 

Inexperienced doctors will turn you into a pincushion.  I warn doctors coming near me to only use the blue needles and because after 33 years of sickle cell experience I have the veins of a junkie.  So know your needle size and let the doctors know!!!

4.    Oxygen: Get that mask on and be prepared to Breathe In, Breathe Out.  Why?  Your body at the time of crisis is starved of oxygen.  As I stated before, pain is a sign that there is something wrong – so more oxygen, less pain.  Ironically, the lack of oxygen can also trigger a crisis so it’s always good to do some breathing exercises when feeling low.

So the next time you have to go to the hospital (I hope it’ll be not in the too near future, but don't be fooled – it will happen) be equip and take control.   Be demanding, ask questions and let the doctors know that while you are a patient, you are also an expert in your field – YOU.

Toodles!

Countdown till July 4 (July 7 for us non-Samsung ppls)........ Jayz can't let me down

Been posting a lot lately and I'm sure I'm jumping on a mad marketing bandwagon but dude.......the phenomenon that is Magna Carta Holy Grail is approaching........ and it can't any sooner!!

But lets talk about the marketing....... sure genius!  You mean to say before you even release the album you already have Platinum status?!  Now let me put into context, the Jayz brand - going on the quality of the music alone - does NOT need to ensure success before the masses get to it.  There are too many JayZ die-hards in the world, but this is not enough for Jayz.

Some might think of it as cheating, I mean he has moved the goal post on this album release, but in order to get a company like Samsung to outright BUY copies of your music before release? Tooo MAD!!  

Now I'm not going to buy a samsung phone anytime soon..... I'm still a die-hard iPhone chick.... but I'm itching for this album.  From the piano hook, to the speakers blowing out, to 'I made you a verb....... I always wanted to be a verb' comment I can't wait.

Jayz you can't let me down..........

Toddles!

Introducing.................The artist Bemyoda

I say it time and time again......... there is talent in this country.  You just have to stand still and focus past the chaos that is Nigeria.  In recent years we have seen an explosion of talent on the music scene.......from the pop hits from D'Banj to the eclectic sounds of Blackmagic, to the soulful croons of Bez, we are spoilt for choice.

I came across singer/songwriter Bemyoda on NdaniTV Sessions and I was blown away.  Ndani TV further described Bemyoda as follows; 

"Bemyoda is as much a creative writer as he is a beautiful singer. He does not present you music that is the norm; every line is the summary of a deeper meaning, every phrase explains a concept larger than it. His soulful sound has influences ranging from jazz and the blues to neo-soul and afro-pop, creating the eclectic mix that is Bemyoda.....”

Personally, I just love the 'earth' in his voice.  It has a depth that just makes you want to get lost in.  Yes I confess I am a shameless groupie!

On the 13th of June, Bemyoda released his EP Sketch for us to enjoy.  Click here to download and appreciate!!  If you luv his music like I do, feel free to drop him a line on Twitter and Facebook :)

Toodles!!!

My Hair Journey

Growing up, I always thought of myself as an 'fugly' child.  I was a tomboy at heart in a house full of girlie girls (save my Dad of course...).  In recent years I've come into my own style-wise.  I absolutely love my hair and I would not have it any other way. 

This was an interview intended for another blog but I thought it would be fun sharing it with you.   So if you have any questions feel free to leave a comment and I'll get back to you........ Toddles!

How long have you been natural?

I have been natural since 2001 and I started my locs 31st of January 2008

Why did you decide to go natural?

I was never happy with my hair relaxed.  I remember as a child I would beg my mother for a perm because all the girls in school had it and they looked more grown up.  I remember sitting in the chair thinking that I would transform from an ugly caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly with my newly permed hair.

Big Mistake!!  My hair didn’t take to the relaxer and due to my high pain threshold - as indicated in my other posts - I would always end up with a burnt scabby scalp. 

My Afro in 2001

During my undergraduate, I just got to a point where enough was enough!!  I started to braid my hair with extensions and ‘waited’ for the relaxed hair to fall off.  I absolutely loved the flexibility my natural hair gave me in the UK.  I could switch between two-strand twists and bone straight pressed hairstyles. 

My transition to natural hair was a journey of self-discovery while my journey to locs was one of self-assuredness.  I knew I wasn’t going to go back to the creamy crack, and managing my afro was getting cumbersome, so the only option I was willing to try was to loc my hair.  It wasn’t a drastic change; I had maintained my natural hair using two-strand twists for about four years.  Most people at that point already assumed that I had locs, so I took the plunge.

With my parents took the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ approach.  My mother had always supported the move to natural hair but I think my parent’s apprehension was more towards how the negative connotations towards locs would affect me getting a job.   

My starter locks around July 2008

What do you do, and how does your hair affect your job or vice versa?

At the time I started my locs I was in the final year of my Ph.D. No one cared about the state of my hair because no one saw me.  This was advantageous because even the best-kept locs at the starter stage can look a little nappy, and frankly I looked like a boy!

My corporate career started in Nigeria, so by the time I joined the rat race my locs were fairly mature.  My first Job was at a well-known Investment Bank in Nigeria.  My hair wasn’t long enough to put into a bun, so I would have my locs curled and styled to take to work.  At the time I never really thought about what impact my locs would have on people’s impression on me.

The reality of the situation is this – Employers that are too focused on what your hair is as opposed to what value you bring with regards to your skills are short sighted.  As an employee your responsibility to ensure that you are tidy and presentable to clients at all time, regardless if you have a weave, relaxed, braided, natural or loc’d hair.

Curling my hair

The result, obviously I was bored at work, Aug 2010

Have you been to Nigeria since you went natural?

 Yes I have

What was your experience being natural in Nigeria?

My initial experience in Nigeria was not a happy one, hair-wise.  When I would come home on Christmas vacations, I could never find a hairdresser that would not try to convince me to relax my hair!  They mistreated my hair and couldn’t understand why an African woman would have natural hair for non-religious reasons!!!

These vacation experiences contributed towards the transition from Afro to Locs.  I knew I wouldn’t be happy with how I would have to maintain my hair in Nigeria, so I decided to loc before I moved back home.  In a lot of ways maintaining locs is easier than maintaining an Afro.

Having locs in Nigeria has also been an interesting experience.

1. Is that all your hair?
2. No really?  What extentions did you put?
3. Really is that all your hair?  I thought it was braids!!
4. How long have you had your hair like this?
5. Really?  And you haven’t changed your hair since?
6. What happens when you want to do another style?  Do you have to cut it off?
7. What do you mean your not considering cutting your locs off anytime soon?

Above are the typical questions women typically ask me on a day-to-day basis.  I’ve even had a woman pull on my hair because she wasn’t convinced I was telling the truth.

What are the challenges you’ve encountered since going natural?

Maintenance has always been an issue for me.  I am lazy when it comes to my hair, so I’m always on the lookout for stylists that can help me maintain my hair.  Finding stylists in Nigeria has always been an issue.

What is your routine?

Once a month I wash, deep condition and re-loc the base of my locs.  To loc I use a shea butter and coconut oil mix.  I then will sit under a hair dryer to dry my roots and let the rest of my hair air dry.  This helps retain moisture within the hair, which helps my hair feel soft.

I would not recommend using bees wax because it is heavy and tends to fix lint into the hair giving it a permanent grey look.  Locking Gel is also a massive no-no.  Locking gel tends to dry out your hair making it brittle and hard.

In-between hair appointments I maintain my hair with shea butter whips, almond oil and tea-tree sprays for my scalp.  The key is always to ‘listen’ to your hair.  Shea butter tends to be heavy so if I do use it I use it sparingly to avoid build up.  I stay way from petroleum-based products because they build up residue in the hair and can be difficult to get out.

On occasion I do like to dye my hair (yes, I do get bored of my hair from time to time).  I use semi-permanent dyes and I tend to leave those treatments far and few between because they can dry out your hair.

Who are your natural hair Idols?
Before they chopped off their locs, my hair idols were India Aire and Lauren Hill.

I Love Love Love Love Franchesca Ramsey on YouTube (Chescalocs & Chescaleigh).  She has inspired me to experiment with my hair, which has added an element of fun to my style.

Closer to home, there is Nibi - owner of the Kinky Apothecary blog.  She is the expert of all things Natural Hair!!